How Can I Help My Children Get Through Our Florida Divorce?
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At the Law Office of Denise Miller, our divorce attorney in Stuart, Florida is not a licensed family therapist, but our office has been handling family law cases for more than two decades. That allows our legal professionals to provide a few tips from an experienced family law attorney Stuart for helping your kids get through your divorce while you traverse the uncharted waters of custody agreements.
Keep in mind, all divorces are unique, and are typically hard on everyone involved.
Creating a plan to make the transition a little easier for you, your soon-to-be-ex-spouse, and your children are worth a plan.
Here are a few tips to practice along the way.
Talk to Your Spouse & Create a Plan You Both Can Honor
Obviously, since divorce is the issue at hand, you and your spouse may be disagreeing about many household topics.
The one thing most divorcing spouses can agree on is the well-being of their children, so for the sake of creating a hostile-free environment, you must create a plan — together — regarding how you will both still be there for your children now, during the divorce proceedings, and after.
This could include:
- Telling them about your plans to divorce together
- Explaining who will live where, if one spouse is moving from the family home
- Advising how and when each parent will see them, separately or together
- Ensuring them how important they are, and what they mean to each of you
These conversations — as they do not have to happen all at once — will typically involve a lot of questions. This leads us to the next tip…
Be Supportive of Your Children’s Needs
No matter your and their other parent’s differences, children of all ages need to know that their needs come first. That means listening to their concerns, taking time to talk, and allowing them to fully process the changes that are occurring in the home.
Be Honest With Your Children About the Divorce
In no way do your kids need to know that one parent is at fault for the divorce, if that is actually the case. Things like infidelity, dishonesty, or other issues that got you to this point are not conversations for kids.
Instead, be honest about the breakdown of the relationship by calling it that and explaining how things were exceedingly difficult for both parents over the past few months (or years, in some cases), and that it is time to move forward.
Divulging details regarding how you felt in the marriage — like sad, stressed, uneasy, or anxious — is vital to building trust with your kids going forward. The ugly details are not.
Divorce is Not a Time for Kids to Take Sides
Divorce is incredibly difficult for parents, too, which is why some urge their kids to take their side during the proceedings. Most people want to know they have someone in their corner and competing for your kid’s admiration is a surefire way to make any parent feel better.
Be conscious of this when you are working through your divorce, so you can avoid — even inadvertently — getting your kids to take your side. It simply is not fair to them and can cause significant emotional and psychological damage.
Talk With the Other Parent About Child Custody Agreements that are Tailored to the Children’s Needs
Our divorce and child custody attorney in Stuart knows how hard it is for spouses to give up time with their kids, so the other parent can equally enjoy them.
This, however, is not about you.
Your kids will need both parents in their lives going forward and avoiding a custody battle will help keep the stress from reaching them.
Creating a parenting and visitation plan with your spouse will allow both of you to place the child’s needs first.
If you have questions about divorce, and how it will affect your child custody agreement, contact our experienced family law attorney in Martin County at the Law Office of Denise Miller by calling (772) 934-6007 to discuss your circumstances and learn more about your legal rights, options, and potential solutions today.